Gross and Disgusting

Home ownership is the American Dream … Right??? Ever since Rick started turning the front garage into a really cool new office we’ve had nightmares.

First there was the French drain – French, you see, because they are … how do you say … Ooh La-La, Très Expensive. We had to have one because the new room flooded with the first good rain, just before Christmas, how nice.

You know, it never did smell good down there. Rick said that was just the open walls and the crawl space under the house … really, not a good smell but … OK, if you say so.

I was thinking, maybe mice or some other urban monkey was living under the house and had indigestion... Or, possibly something had passed on to it’s reward… Or, maybe it was just the smell that the place under the house smells like and closing up the walls would cure the whole problem.

Enter the Neighborhood Rat Problem.

Our neighbors have seen, heard, and had their two Jack Russell’s bring into their house – RATS.

Eureka! That must be the problem. I looked in the new room and sure enough there was evidence. I called the Rat Man who made a deal with all our neighbors for extermination that was pretty safe for the dogs. He came right out to rodenticide the properties.

He came into our lovely home and said “ well that is rat droppings alright, but you do not currently have an infestation … you will though if we don’t treat…what’s that smell?” Groan, “I thought it was the rats,” said I, “No, it kind of smells like the monkey cage doesn’t it? – That’s sewer gas!”

I called Rick and gave him all the news. He didn’t think the odor was sewer gas, didn’t think we should have paid $100.00 to have the rodentacide and was pretty sure the odor would go away when he closed up the walls … OK, if you say so.

Friday Rick worked from home in the really cool new office, until he nearly passed out. Then he went up to the living room to work. Then we called the plumbers.

Yackity-Smackity Blah, Blah, Blah, long painful story short. We found a dead rat, so I guess the hundred bucks was a good idea – and – there was a broken sewer pipe under the house. We now have a new sewer pipe that nobody but I would refer to as French – but trust me … it was.
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