Dear Mary,
I have a big problem. A big, loud, scary, noisey, banging, scary problem. Please help, I don't know what to do. Every day when my parents leave I stay home and take care of the house. Most days, my uncle Henry comes over to keep me company, but it's my house, you know, I am the beast of the manor. Anyway, lately, these big smelly invaders, maybe visigoths, maybe just barbarians have been breaking into the house and banging on the walls and taking apart the things. I must admit, Mary, I'm not pleased. Henry seems to be just fine with it. He sniffs them, wags his tail, all in all, he has no problem with the whole ordeal. I just don't trust it. I stay upstairs in the bed. Shivering. My problem is twofold. First, I have to find a way to shore up our defenses and keep these cretins out. But second, what do I do if my folks find out that I've just let these banging invaders work their mayhem in my castle?? They'll know I'm a cowardly dog! They'll make me get a real job! Help!!!
Sincerely,
Mr. Wally T. Bagle
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